Someone to watch over me

I know the sense of calm that came over me on the way to Beijing was my mother letting me know there's nothing to worry about. I know she's with me every minute of this journey to Ava.

Ava's Nana

I found out today that after a three and a half year wait, I have a new daughter, born in the Hunan province of China. I wish my mother were here to share my joy. No one loved holding a baby like my mother. When my daughter, Leah, was born nearly twelve years ago, I had to beg my mother to let other people hold her; she was so in love with her.

It's Not Such a Wonderful Life

I feel as though I'm living in a world without my George Bailey - my mother. The world was such a better place with her in it; nothing is the same without her. Each new day is a constant reminder that my life will never be the same. The scariest part of my mother's death is that it has given me a vivid awareness of my own mortality.

It's only getting harder

I've just come to realize that one of the most difficult aspects of losing my mother is the identity that I've known for the longest time, that of being a daughter, has been ripped away from me.

I heard her voice today

Today, I heard my mother's voice; unfortunately, it was only on her answering machine. Oh, how I miss the sound of her voice, especially when she said, "Hi, Babs." That's what she liked to call me.

It's been one month

One month ago today, I lost my beautiful mother. She died as I laid beside her, holding her until her last breath. I miss her so much and can't fathom my life without her.